These are just plain funny.
In Order to get the prince of your dreams, you need to kiss a lot of toads.
I always try to have an open mind but my brain always keep falling out.
I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom.
I would always like to have a photographic memory but it never developed.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
It is always better to understand less than to misunderstand a lot.
The only flaw in me is that I consider myself as the most perfect in this world.
You are not Stupid but everyone else is smarter than you.
Time has always been a great teacher, but unfortunately it has been killing all its pupils.
Questions are never stupid, the person asking them is stupid.
Inspiration is like a lost sock. When you're searching you can never find it, and when it appears, you least expect it.
Dont follow my footsteps I walk into walls.
All I want is for one guy to prove to me that they all arent the same.
When you mess up, another person probably messed up with you so dont be down.
Everyone is interested in going to heaven, but I have not found anyone who wants to die.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
On the other hand you have different fingers.
Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
You can't have everything....where would you put it?
The things that come to those who wait are the things left over from those who got there first.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
PLEASE RECYCLE!!